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From: Theresa71282
Date: April 19, 2001
My experience with this phenomenon has been the opposite of what you might expect: when I gain weight, I feel more comfortable in my body as if I was meant to be fat and I'm fulfilling my destiny so to speak; but when I lose weight, that's when I feel like this isn't really me, and that I'm just temporarily living in a smaller sized body. Although it doesn't make logical sense to me, I actually feel more self-conscious about my body when I'm thinner than when I'm heavier. Isn't that weird?
Right now, I'm the fattest that I've ever been, yet I'm also the happiest with myself and the most comfortable I've ever felt being a "fat girl". I've put on a lot of weight during the past year, and most of it is concentrated below the waist on my hips, rear end, tummy, and thighs - areas that most girls don't want to call attention to. I'm 5'6" tall, and my weight has ballooned from a "pleasingly plump" 162 pounds to a rather roly-poly 214 pounds! My previously pear-shaped figure of 36-28-42 is now extremely out of proportion and bottom-heavy, measuring 38-32-54. I have big, round, fat buttocks that stick out prominently like a pair of inflated balloons, along with wide bulging hips, a protruding tummy, and huge flabby thighs that jiggle and shake like jell-o when I walk. You would probably think that I would be horrified to have such a shape, and wouldn't want anyone to see me looking like this, right? But I actually enjoy putting on the weight and watching myself get fatter and fatter, and I feel sexier and more feminine the bigger my butt gets.
When I was thinner, I hated wearing tight, revealing clothes because they always seemed to make me look fatter than I really was, and everyone would tease me about my shape, but now I love putting on spandex shorts and seeing people's reactions when they see those fatty bulges around my hips and thighs. I don't expect anyone else to understand it or be able to relate to what I'm saying, as it seems most people's experiences are just the opposite, but this has been my experience. If anyone has had a similar experience with gaining weight, I would be interested in hearing your story. You can either post your comments to this board or e-mail them to me at tclivingston@mac.com. Thanks for listening.
Theresa
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